My Tool Mess

I'm not a tool guy. I understand mechanical things very well. I can tell you how they work, how to maintain them and how to repair them. But, to actually work on things myself is usually out of the question. Thankfully I have a wife who is very handy and skilled with her hands.

Here's an example of my tool bad luck:

In one of my previous lives, in the Army, I was on a helicopter crew. As a crew member, I was expected to assist in maintenance of the aircraft. I certainly didn't mind helping out, so long as it involved cleaning, greasing and the occasional safety wire application. I tried to draw the line on tools, though, knowing my weakness in that area.

One day we were out on the flight line getting ready to do a regular maintenance inspection on our Blackhawk helicopter. The crew chief hands me a screwdriver and instructs me to take the sound-proofing panels down from inside of the aircraft. I told him quite plainly, "You don't want me touching this aircraft with tools. Something bad will happen." He "poo-pooed" me and told me to do it anyway.

It's not that I was totally incapable of doing the job. The panels weren't even held up with regular screws, rather they were those lock things with screw heads. I objected again, but was told I was being silly and to get to it. So I did.

I removed the panels, the crew chief inspected the things he needed to inspect, and I put the panels back up. No problem, or ...

After a maintenance inspection, a test pilot is required to take the aircraft on the first flight to make sure everything is in order. So, we all got out of the way as the crew chief set up outside the bird to assist with the run up for the test flight. The pilot fired up the engines and got ready to go. Just as he got both engines running, the wing on the back of the aircraft, called the stabilator, fell off.

In the inspection we performed, nothing was done to the stabilator other than to look at it. There was no reason for it to fall off - except that I touched the aircraft with a tool. Bad, bad, bad.

Needless to say, I was never allow near any tool box for the rest of the time I was in that unit.

Check Out Just Keeping Busy

My wife started her own web site. I'm very proud of her efforts. She's a very creative person in many ways and is sharing her ideas on cooking, flower arranging and other "crafty" things I claim no understanding of. Please stop by http://www.justkeepingbusy.com .

Cheating With Other Blogs

My blogging time has been rather preoccupied by my blog-novel "The Adventure of Pacir Staquetrane" and also my more serious "The Crossing of Marketing and IT." I invite you check them out when you have a chance.

Bloom County

I have very much been enjoying reading Berkeley Breathed's "Bloom County" comics again. They were one of my favorites as a young adult and I still find them funny and insightful. Yes, some of the references are dated, but they are still very funny.

You can check them out daily at Go Comics: http://www.gocomics.com/bloomcounty/2009/05/09/

I've also been reliving the adventures of "Calvin and Hobbes" - another of my favorites: http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2009/05/09/

I have both of these on my iGoogle home page where I can enjoy them when I do my morning news peruse.

Inter-service Rivalry

In 1994 I was sent to Fort Huachuca in the High Desert of Arizona for some Army training. The post was also home to schools for the Air Force, Navy and Marine Corps. One could see a stark difference between the services by observing the morning routine.

We Army soldiers came outside for calisthenics and running at 6:00 am. By that time, the Marines were already done with their exercises and were starting their 3-mile run.

About 20-30 minutes later when we were headed out for our 2-mile run, the Air Force people were just coming out of their building.

By the time we finished our run, the Air Force folks were already done with their exercising and running and were crowded around the center of the courtyard talking loudly amongst themselves in several groups.

This was when the people in the Navy quarters made their appearance. They threw open their windows and yelled out, "Hey! Keep it down out there! We're trying to sleep!"

Led Zeppelin and the Book of Hosea

The other day as I was working "Hey Hey What Can I Do" by Led Zeppelin came on my MP3 player. As the song played, the lyrics struck me as kind of a parallel of the story of Hosea in the Old Testament.

In the story, Hosea marries a prostitute as a symbol of ancient Israel's rebellion against the laws of God. In the short story, in chapter 3, God tells Hosea to find his wife and bring her home despite her love for adultery.

The Led Zeppelin song tells the story of a man who goes through the town looking for his love who stays in bars and strays with other men. I can imagine Hosea thinking similarly as he looked for his wife, Gomer, in the streets and bars of his day.

In the end, the man in "Hey Hey What Can I Do" packs his bags and moves on. Hosea, however, does not give up on Gomer. This is an illustration that God does not give up on us even when we stray.

Let's Be Friends Award

Donna, who does the Fantasy Dreamer's Blog, has given me the honor of listing me as a recipient of her "Let's Be Friends" award. I appreciate this award very much.

Here is the story behind the award: "The Let's be Friends Awards stands for this: These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers."

I've been wracking my brains all weekend to think of 8 friends who actively blog. Unfortunately, other than Donna, I can only come up with four:

The first three blogs are done by ladies I know from work. They work in marketing and have just started blogging. I salute them for this and I hope this award goes towards encouraging to share their knowledge and experience with the rest of us:

• I Love Laminate
• Kathy's Marketing World
• The High-Pressure World of Laminate Flooring

The last blogger is a friend from way back. I've mentioned him in this space before, but he's certainly worth mentioning again. Scott Topping is the author of the Ugly Scott blog. Scott is a talented writer with a very unique perspective on things. He's also uproariously funny, often even when he's being serious. He's also a great friend who has shown me many kindnesses throughout the years.

What's Up With Dave Ramsey?

After I blogged about Dave Ramsey's Town Hall for Hope a few days ago, quite a few folks have asked about Dave and what he's all about.

How I Got Started - The Total Money Makeover

As I mentioned in that post, I was introduced to Dave's book "The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness" (TMMO) just before Christmas. My friend, Jim, caught Dave on Fox News Business and on the radio and was intrigued enough by what he heard that he bought and read the book. As Jim described to me the six "baby steps" outlined in the book and I read some of the stories by real people, I realized this is what I needed to get my financial house back in order.

A Short History

My wife and I married with some financial baggage left over from our previous lives. She made some bad financial decisions and declared bankruptcy a few years prior. I made some terrible financial decisions with my ex-wife and on my own and had a mountain of debt. I seriously considered declaring bankruptcy myself on more than one occasion.

Shortly after our wedding I was able to settle a fairly large amount of old credit card debt and I paid off a few things. There were still a few financial things hanging over my head, but, as a couple, we were treading water fairly well. We even purchased a new truck and motorcycle because we could "afford the payments." We thought all was going well until I received a rather unpleasant surprise: a call from a collection agency which informed me of a credit card I forgot about after my divorce.

This really woke us up to reality: We were fooling ourselves and living paycheck to paycheck. I knew we needed to do something to get things back on track, and as I spoke with my wife about it she agreed. But, what to do? We didn't know where to start. That's where Dave's book came in.

Our Road to Financial Peace

I ordered the book when I got home after Jim showed it to me. When it arrived, my wife and I sat down and started reading. As we read it, I realized there wasn't a lot in there I didn't already know. The things he teaches are things my mom taught me years ago. But, because I thought I knew better I went against those things and got myself in a mess. TMMO helped us formulate a plan to get ourselves back on track, out of debt, and into financial fitness.

Keep in mind - TMMO is not a "get-rich-quick" scheme. Neither is it a proven way to make more money so you can be rich without working, and it's not affiliate marketing nor MLM. It is a way of changing your attitude about money, learning how it works and how you can control it and use it properly.

Getting out of debt is the biggest part - and the part which takes the most work. We're in the middle of our Debt Snowball, which is step 2 in Dave's 6-step program. After totalling up our debt and starting to pay off those debts one at a time from smallest to largest, we have managed to knock off almost half of our total debt load in almost four months. I can't describe how liberating this is - you really have to experience it for yourselves. It hasn't been easy and we've had to tell ourselves "no" on many things. I can, however, honestly tell you it's worth it. If you are living paycheck to paycheck - or worse finding you have more month than money - I can't recommend Dave's TMMO book enough. It will change your life.

We Believe in Financial Peace

We believe in TMMO so much that we jumped at the chance to help run a Financial Peace University at our church. This is a 12-week program where a group of us meet and watch a lesson by Dave on DVD. It's TMMO, except in more detail and with more specific instruction. After 5 weeks we can already see the lives of some in our group changing for the better. We're already planning to hold another Financial Peace University later this year, this one has been so successful thus far.

Finally - The Big Picture

There's one more aspect of this I want to cover, concerning how our personal financial dealings can impact our nation. If you read some of what I've posted in this space, you've probably caught my attitude about how our government is running things. Over the past few days I've been giving this some thought and I've come to the conclusion that if we're going to change how our government does things, we individuals need to lead that change in our personal lives.

If we, as individuals, insist on living in debt and meandering around paycheck to paycheck, how is our government going to know we are serious about dealing with overspending and indebtedness at a national level? But, if we get our financial houses in order, could we not bring more pressure to bear on Washington to do the same?

You may be thinking I have it backwards. Those in Washington are supposed to be leaders, shouldn't they lead by example? Yes, they should, but they aren't. I think if we're going to change the attitude of Washington, part of the process is changing our own attitudes towards overspending and debt. I believe Dave Ramsey has a way to point us in the right direction. So, please join in on April 23rd and attend a Town Hall for Hope viewing in your area.

CERT Team Looking For Radio Equipment

The CERT I am part of is looking for some new or gently used amateur radio equipment. If you have any of these items to donate, please contact me

kb5nju hotmail com:

• 2m Mobile Radio, 20w transmitter power or higher
• Power Supply capable of powering a mobile radio of at least 20w
• Discone Antenna, capable of transmitting on 2m. One that comes with a portable pole mounting system would be great.
• 50 feet of RG-58 coax cable

Almost 50% of our CERT consist of licensed amateur radio operators with others who are interested in getting their licenses. Our goal is to set up a base station during events where a net control operator can facilitate communication with the hams as they go about their tasks.

The Temple (Texas) CERT is affiliated with the City of Temple Fire and Rescue and a 501(c)3 organization.

Thanks and 73.

It's A Matter of Size

I hate shopping for clothes, shoes included. So when my black shoes fell apart (literally) it took a lot of effort to buckle down and get a new pair. Thankfully, us guys really only need a few pairs of shoes, so I don't have to go through this too often.

I have some very high-quality shoes. When I know I'm going to be on my feet for a while and I can't wear Crocs, I wear one of those pairs of shoes. When I'm going to be at work all day sitting on my butt, I don't usually wear one of those high-quality pairs. Pretty much anything will do.

Since the shoes I needed to replace were primarily for work, I didn't mind getting a pair at Walmart while we were shopping there anyway. I thought to myself it would be an easy thing. Alas, I was wrong.

I went to the shoe aisle at our local Walmart and grabbed a pair of nine-and-a-halfs to try on. I couldn't even squeeze my feet into them. I thought that strange, but I've run into times where sizes were a little off - no doubt to the metric to English conversion. So I grabbed a pair of tens. I got my feet into them, but they were way too tight. So, I tried a pair of ten-and-a-halfs next. They fit in perfectly in width, but they were about two inches too long.

I grabbed another pair of another style and brand. I was thinking, perhaps, if the one factory didn't do their metric to English conversion very well, perhaps another factory did. Well, this style fit just like the others I had just tried on: nine-and-a-half was too small, ten was too small, and the ten-and-a-half fit perfectly in width but was about two inches too long. I figured they were made in the same factory as the other ones.

I gave up at that point. I hate shopping for shoes in the first place, but now I was upset because someone didn't do their math correctly. I commented to my wife: "Can't we send our overseas manufacturers a ruler with inches so they can check their sizes before they ship stuff out? It seems we're not doing them or ourselves any favors by keeping the actual length of an inch secret."

In my town there is a shopping center with a Shoe Carnival with a Ross next store. Whenever I'm there for any reason, I always stop at Ross before going to Shoe Carnival because there's always a chance a nice pair of shoes will be for sale there for cents on the dollar.

In Ross, I found a great pair of leather shoes, just right for wearing to work. I grabbed a pair of nine-and-a-half and proceeded to walk around a bit. I practically walked out of them. Disgusted, I grabbed a pair of nines, thinking I might have to go down to eight-and-a-half on this brand. Thankfully, the nines fit perfectly and I left the store getting a great pair of shoes for the same price I would have gotten the Walmart cheapies for.

Am I the only one who has trouble buying clothes and shoes which fit? Aren't sizes supposed to be based on actual inches (or at least their metric equivalents)? Shouldn't one size nine shoe be same as another size nine? If I get a pair of pants with a 34-inch inseam, shouldn't the next pair of pants with a 34-inch inseam be the same length? Am I just being too picky?

Congress Versus AIG

Is there anyone else who thinks that members of congress are a bit hypocritical when making such a fuss over the AIG bonus payments?

Here are a bunch of folks who waste more of our money than any other group and vote themselves pay raises every year (again, out of our money). Yet they have the gall to call down "power from on high" to take money away from AIG for paying bonuses? Money which they freely gave away with no strings attached?

If congress really wants to "play fair" with the taxpayers' money, let them pass a law tying their annual pay raise to inflation.

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

How Did They Get Away With Not Paying Their Fair Share?

This past November I described in this space my experience with the IRS. You can read of the whole affair here. The funniest part is, I think they still owe me $2.00.

So, the IRS came after me for just over $1000. It was an honest mistake on my part. But, it was no big deal and I paid it willingly.

So this brings to mind the question: How did 4 people appointed by President Obama to head some government department or another get away with not paying tens of thousands of dollars in back taxes? How is it that they all-of-the-sudden remembered they forgot to pay all this money to the IRS? How is it that the IRS was able to find the one thousand I owed them, but they couldn't find the tens of thousands these other people owed? They came after me for two dollars. Why didn't they go after these other folks for tens of thousands of dollars?

This all smacks of hypocrisy and favoritism to me. I wonder how many "regular folks" like me have been harassed by the IRS. I also wonder how many "politicos" have had their tax irregularities ignored.

If we want to talk about folks paying their fair share - lets start right now with elected and appointed government officials. Or is it that some are "more equal than others."

My Daylight Savings Time Story

I hate changing the clocks twice a year. It makes no sense to me at all. I can't see where it will save energy, boost industrial productivity, make the streets safer or provide any other benefit. Perhaps when ours was a more agrarian society it made sense, but now it does not.

Today I woke up at 7:45 am, which yesterday would have been 6:45 am. I forgot to change my alarm clock yesterday, so I was an hour behind. When I checked my phone for messages, it displayed a message which read that it had been updated for Daylight Savings Time. Funny thing was, it was still showing the time as one hour earlier than it really was.

I went downstairs and sat in front of the computer to check email. It showed the correct time, but no message that it had updated automatically. So, in my pre-caffeinated stupor I set the time back and hour to match the incorrect time on my phone.

I thought I had PLENTY of time to get ready. I leisurely checked my email, caught up on Twitter, ate my cereal and drank my coffee, took a shower; all the time thinking I was way ahead of schedule.

It wasn't until my friend, Jim, called asking me if I was going to show up for band practice. "Yes," I replied, thinking he was rather anxious. "We're leaving in a few minutes. Why, what's up?"

"Dude, it's 9:20. Did you forget to change your clocks?" Yes, I had. I didn't want to admit it, but I had. This is the first time in many years I missed a time change.

Things worked out OK even though I was very late and we had a couple good laughs at my expense.

I wonder how many other thousands had the same problem this morning? One day I might move to Arizona to get away from this time-changing mess.

Shin Splits Exercise Treatment

Back in the day when I was a strapping young lad I ran quite a bit. I also had occasional problems with shin splints. Shin splints is (are?) a very painful response to high-impact exercise which makes it difficult, if not impossible, to run.

Disclaimer

I'm no longer a strapping lad, nor am I a doctor (though I'm handsome enough to play one on TV). Follow my advice at your own risk. I doubt you can hurt yourself doing what I suggest, but if you do it's not my fault! So there! Nyaa!

The Method

I was very fortunately to have been taught a highly effective treatment and prevention for this terrible malady. I can't remember the exact circumstances, but I think she said she learned it from her yoga teacher. I don't know if it's yoga, but it's simple and it worked very well for me:

1. Stand with your feel approximately shoulder-width apart
   
2. Slightly bend your knees
3. Bend at the waist and rest your hands just above one knee - you might find it helpful to place the opposite foot slightly behind you to help with balance
4. On the side you're leaning on, keeping your heel on the ground, raise your toes as high as you can.
5. Repeat raising your toes until you cannot raise it any more. (If you already have shin splints, this will be somewhat painful)
6. Turn the same foot as far to the left as you can and raise your toes as many times as you can.
7. Turn the same foot as far to the right as you can and raise your toes as many times as you can
8. Switch your hands to the other leg and repeat steps 4-7.

This exercise can also be used as part of your warm up to help prevent shin splints, too.

The key to this exercise is to strengthen the muscles which pull your toes up when your heel is on the ground. This relieves the pressure off the tendons which attach to the shin. It's this pressure which causes shin splint pain.

If you suffer from shin splints, give this a shot. If nothing else, it can't make things any worse.

RFID Passports and Drivers Licenses Compromise Your Personal Data

RFID has great value as it is used today. It also has many excellent potential uses. However, it is totally unsuitable for use in a personal identification system.

Many times I've written about the potential dangers of personal identification cards and passports equipped with Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) technology. You can check them out here. My aim in this is not to bash the technology because it has many excellent applications. My objections are strictly limited to RFID-equipped personal identification.

What the problem with RFID?

The inherent flaw in using RFID in identification cards is the very thing which makes it excellent in other applications: The RFID chip sends out a signal containing a small amount of data which a receiver can detect and pass along to a computer. While this is great for companies like Walmart to track inventory going in and out of a store, it's not good for a person when anyone can grab their personal information out of thin air just by passing near them.

Proof Is In The Pudding

For those who think my opinions alarmist, allow me to point out two studies which I believe prove my point:

University of Washington and RSA Research

On December 1, 2008, the Consumer Warning Network reported on research done by The University of Washington and RSA Security in October of 2008 which showed data from RFID chips implanted in the new Passport Cards and "Enhanced" drivers licenses can be received from over 150 feet away. Data recovered from such reception could be cloned to another card in less than 5 seconds. These tests were done with off-the-shelf equipment, not exotic technology available only to government agencies. 

Receiving data from that far away, a criminal could position a receiver near a large gathering of people and clone cards to steal a large number of identities. It is fair to point out that personal information is not stored on these cards; only a unique ID code. However, this code is all that's needed to create a cloned card. Eventually, there has to be a way to match that number to personal data stored in a database somewhere. If there is enough desire, criminals could get access to such a database and get the personal information contained in it.

A Practical Demonstration

On Feb 2nd, dailywireless.org posted an item showing how easy it is for someone to go about reading these RFID-equipped cards. Chris Paget demonstrated how to set up a system to read the cards as one drives around a city. Like in the above-mentioned study, he used off-the-shelf equipment in his demonstration. Although he didn't scan a large number of cards, I believe it's because they are not yet widely used. As government agencies issue this type of card, though, there will be more and more of them in circulation to scan. I highly recommend watching the short video which is quite telling.

Not Just Identity Theft

Given that these cards are so easy to read from a far longer distance than government agencies care to admit, it's also important to consider another potential way to exploit this technology: stalking and tracking. It's not difficult to put together a relatively cheap, but sophisticated, RF direction-finding system. Amateur radio operators do this in "fox hunt" competitions to find hidden transmitters. It would not be difficult for anyone to put together a direction-finding system to track a person's movements. In the ultimate "big brother" scenario, it would be a simple matter for government agencies to install direction-finding equipment around a city and use it to track anyone and everyone.

"Computer, what is the current location of Captain Picard?"

Shields Up!

There is one thing the person who has this type of ID card can do to prevent its exploitation: shield it. The issuers of these cards are supposed to provide a sleeve in which to store the card, the idea of which is to prevent the RFID from transmitting outside the person's wallet or purse. While this is a good idea, I believe it is not good enough. I question how many people will actually educate themselves on how RFID works and realize the importance of using such a sleeve. How many will lose or damage the sleeve and not bother to replace it? Although laudable, providing a sleeve is hardly practical.

I recommend you do your own research to learn more about RFID. I believe that as you educate yourself, you will realize RFID in personal identification is not a good idea and will let your elected representatives know about it.

Visiting Downtown Memphis

When we told folks we were going to Memphis for our 5th Annual Honeymoon, we were told by many to visit the Peabody Hotel and see the ducks and The Rendezvous for ribs. So, we took their advice and did so, on both counts. And we weren't disappointed.

Excellent Ribs

Charles Vergos' Rendezvous is a very interesting restaurant located in Downtown Memphis at 52 S. Second St. Be warned: The actual entrance is in the alley behind Second Street between Union Ave. and Monroe Ave.

After entering, we were sent to the back of the restaurant in what could have been a museum. There were trinkets and newspapers hanging around the room and in showcases. Everything from a tobacco tin collection to airline memorabilia was in this room. It was all very interesting to a history buff like me.

I'm not a fan of ribs; I rarely eat them. But, I have to say the ribs in this place were outstanding. The dirty rice served as an appetizer was very good, the cole slaw was excellent (and spicy, too) as were the beans. All in all it was an excellent dining experience and well worth checking out.

Cute Ducks

The Peabody Hotel is just down the alley from the Rendezvous. This hotel is famous for the ducks which live in the hotel, hanging around in the lobby's fountain during the day. According to the story, the owner of the hotel and his friends were out hunting with live decoys (which was legal in those days) and thought it would be funny to put the ducks in the fountain. The gag turned out to be a very popular draw, so they left the ducks there. To this day they march down from their home on the top floor of the hotel, down the elevator and into the fountain each morning and back up to their home in the evening. It was rather nice to see them frolicking about in the water. An interesting sight, indeed.

image credit: Řehoř

What I Learned At Graceland

My wife and I just finished our 5th Annual Honeymoon. This year, we headed over to Memphis, Tennessee so we could visit Graceland. I sometimes joke that my wife needs to make a "pilgrimage" there every few years.

When we last visited Graceland a few years ago, we didn't have time to go on the mansion tour. This time, however, we made time to take the VIP tour so we could see everything. It was well worth it.

I learned quite a bit about Elvis during this visit, just as I did during our visit to the Elvis-A-Rama Museum in Vegas (now closed). Here are three tid-bits which I was surprised to learn about Elvis:

1. Elvis was a voracious reader: Seeing how busy he kept himself, it never struck me that he would have much time to read. Part of the Graceland VIP tour is a "secret" room in the back of the mansion. In that room is a display of what his office looked like when he passed. I was quite surprised to see books on philosophy and business in addition to novels of many types.
2. Elvis Was A Monty Python Fan: Inside the "Lisa-Marie" airplane, the tour video mentioned that Elvis would often read or watch movies while flying around the country. The narrator specifically mentioned Elvis enjoyed watching Monty Python. That was quite a surprise to me.
3. Elvis' Reputation for Generosity Is Underrated: Although Elvis has a reputation as being a very generous man, the bounds of his generosity are underrated in my opinion. One of the exhibits in the Graceland mansion details his charitable works. I was quite blown away by the number of charities he helped support as well as the very large number of people he would help just because he heard they were having a hard time. He paid medical bills for numerous people. This was all in addition to his famous giveaways of cars and other items. In the exhibit narration Lisa Marie Presley made a comment something to the effect of: "As much as he spent on his family, he spent far, far more helping others."

Details in the Details

I enjoy seeing the minutia of the lives of famous people. Business documents, for whatever reason, fascinate me. As I mentioned in my post about the Elvis-A-Rama Museum, Elvis' business records also reveal a lot about the man most folks never hear about. For instance:

1. The pool table he bought for Graceland was a used, refurbished one.
2. He was paid $50,000 for his first television appearances (quite a princely sum in the 50s).
3. Elvis' father, Vernon, handled most of the business affairs. Most of the checks on display are actually signed by him and not by Elvis.

Veteran Elvis

Elvis' military service continues to impress me each time I hear a new story. Here's a man who was at the top of the entertainment world when he was drafted. He could have gotten easy duty, and no doubt was offered such. But he chose to go the way of every other young man and do his service with no special favors or favoritism. About the only special privilege he had was permission to live "off post" in a rental home. Even still, he helped his fellow soldiers clean the barracks for Saturday inspections.

I'm not sure what his MOS was, but from the descriptions given in the "GI Elvis" exhibit it sounds like he was a Cavalry Scout. He mentioned in one interview that he spent 6 months of his tour in Germany patrolling the Czech border near Grafenwoehr, Germany. 

All in all, I consider this to have been a class act on Elvis' part.

One of these days I'd like to go visit Germany and check out the Statue of Elvis standing at Ray Barracks in Friedburg, Germany. I've seen it many times, but my wife has not, yet. I think it would be a great treat for her.

Paying Respects

At the end of the mansion tour, one is led past the graves of Elvis, his mother, his father and his grandmother. Although I don't consider myself a huge fan, it was hard not to get choked up about his passing after learning so much about him. He was, truly, a living legend - and the legend doesn't nearly describe who the real "larger than life" man was.

All Elvis All The Time

After our touring, we just happened to catch the weekly Elvis Quiz Show on Sirius radio. Sirius' Elvis Radio broadcasts all "Elvis all the time" live from Graceland 24/7 and each week they have a live trivia contest. The winner this past Friday was a young man from Canada who visits Graceland every year and has won the contest each of the 6 times he's been in it. His prize was to guest DJ on the show. Next time we head out that way, we'll have to email ahead of time and see if we can get in on it.

Image credit: USAREUR and Seventh Army

A Pack of Smokes Eased The Cold War

I my last post, "Healthy Train Stations" I told the story of my trip to Liberec in the Czech Republic on the first small unit military to military contact visit. One of the best benefits of that trip was to learn about things from those on the other side of the Cold War.

Historical Curiosity

One of our group was a bit of a history buff. He asked a lot of questions about what life was like during the Cold War in (then) Czechoslovakia. He asked one of the Czech officers rather pointedly, "Did you hate Americans during that time?" 

The Rest of the Story

The Czech officer told this short story. I'll tell it in first person as he did as best as I can remember it:

When I was a young soldier, I was assigned to a unit that was charged with watching the German border and to report any suspicious activity. One day I was hidden in a fox hole, under a bush, about 100 meters away from the border.

As I was watching the border, I saw two American jeeps on the German side of the line. They stopped opposite from me and were setting up some kind of equipment. I watched intently through binoculars so I could give a good report. 

I thought they did not know I was there. But, suddenly, two of the soldiers got into a jeep and started driving directly towards me. I was very nervous as they came closer and closer. Just as I was about to pick up the phone to report them, they stopped about 20 meters away. The soldier who was not driving stood up in the jeep, waved at me, and threw a pack of cigarettes towards me, which landed about a meter in front of me. He waved again, and they drove back to where their group was.

I knew they had seen me, there was no denying it. I climbed out of my fox hole, picked up the pack of cigarettes, lit one, and waved back at the Americans. Soon they all packed up their equipment and drove off.

That day I learned that soldiers are soldiers. There could be no animosity towards one soldier who was kind enough to give another soldier a pack of cigarettes. After that day, I had no ill feelings towards Americans.

Cigarettes For Peace

I was quite impressed by his story. It goes a long way towards showing how one, seemingly small, random act of kindness can go a long way.

That brings to my mind a question: How much faster the Cold War might have ended if we sent waves of B-52 bombers over the Warsaw Pact countries and carpet-bombed them with packs of smokes? That might be politically incorrect today given how much we know about the ills of smoking, but back then it might have been the bold move of a genius to ease international tensions.

Image credit: http://www.grenzer.com

Healthy Train Stations?

I recently blogged about Google's Language Tools and how they approach the issues of translation. At the end of that piece, I mentioned I might post something about my translation gaffes. Here's a particularly memorable one:

In one of my previous lives I was a Czech linguist in the Army. In December of 1993 I was stationed in Darmstadt, Germany working for as an "Orderly Room NCO." It was rather like being an administrative assistant for the commander. One of my duties was to answer the phone. Answering one fateful call allowed me to go on a great trip.

The Call

This particular call was from a captain who was the commander of a chemical unit located in Vilseck, Germany. He told me he and four of his fellow soldiers had been chosen to make the first unit to unit contact visit with the 1st Chemical Defense Brigade of the Czech Army. They were getting ready to travel to Liberec in the Czech Republic to meet with officers there and discuss joint training exercises in Germany and the Czech Republic. Seeing that the Iron Curtain had fallen just a few years before, this was quite an historic event and the first of its kind between the U.S. and Czech Armies.

Not knowing anything about anything Czech, he asked if there might be someone in our unit who 

could go to Vilseck before their trip and talk to them about the people, culture and military courtesies "over there." He also mentioned they might like someone to travel with them on their visit in order to assist them during times when the official interpreter was busy and to help them make sure things went smoothly.

Might be someone? Of course there was - me! I tried not to show too much excitement, but this was a great opportunity to visit the country I had studied about and whose language I practiced for years. It was also a chance to be a small part of history, this being the first such military contact between the two Armies which until recently had been on opposite sides of the Cold War.

In the end, they invited me to come with them to the Czech Republic, and I very happily went along.

Getting Ready

Up to this point, I had studied and practiced the Czech language for nearly ten years. But, I had never traveled to the Czech Republic and I had never worked as a "live" interpreter. I knew I needed some advice on how to handle the situation. Fortunately, I had a good friend who worked as an interpreter and happened to live nearby. He had 3 pieces of advice for me:

1. Carry a reporter's notebook and write down new words and phrases. This was the most useful thing he told me. I ended up using quite a few pages in the notebook he gave me.
2. Tell the people to look at the person with whom they're speaking instead of at me. This made a lot of sense. Much face-to-face communication is non-verbal, so it pays to watch the person with whom one is speaking.
3. If someone tells a joke, lean over and say to the other person in his/her language something to the effect of: "This person just told a joke which is very funny in his/her language, but makes no sense in yours. Please smile and pretend to laugh."
   
   It is interesting, though, many military-themed jokes which are funny to soldiers in one language are also funny in other languages. Army life is very similar no matter to which army one belongs, so many of the jokes are very similar. I didn't have to use this advice as often as I might have in another situation.

What he did not tell me was how to handle things when you completely botch a translation. That I had to learn on my own.

The Trip

We took the train to Prague and were picked up by our hosts. They whisked us into an awaiting van and told us we were to stop on the way out of the city at the Czech Ministry of Defense offices to meet with the general in charge of all chemical defense troops.

We arrived at the Ministry of Defense building and were escorted to a meeting room which was set up for lunch. At first, we sat and ate and chatted about this and that. Towards the end of the meal, the general stood up and made a toast, wishing for a great era of cooperation.

There was a Czech lady assigned to the group who acted as the official translator. She was employed by the Ministry of Defense to translate manuals for Czech-made military equipment into English. Her English was impeccable and her interpretation abilities were excellent (despite the fact that she didn't think so). As we ate, she did most of the translating, while I jumped in from time to time as conversations moved around the table and to give her a chance to eat. She translated the General's speech quite nicely.

The Trip-Up
Then it was time for our group's leader to make a toast. I don't remember his exact words, though at the time I concentrated on them quite closely. He said something like: "I'm from a small town in the United States and I never thought I'd get to visit other countries to make new friends. I'm usually a man of few words, so please allow me to simply thank the soldiers of the Army of the Czech Republic for inviting us here to meet and to start an era of mutual cooperation and education. We are all very happy to be here and know our countries will enjoy mutual friendship for many, many years. Cheers."

It was that last word which tripped me up. You see, the phrase I intended to translate as "cheers" in Czech is "Na Zdravi" (NAH ZDRA-vi) or "to your health." This short phrase is very similar to the word "nádraží" (NAH-dra-zhee) which means "train station." You can guess which one I said.

One of the Czech officers sitting across from me when I said this caught on very quickly. He almost blew beer through his nose as he choked and pretended to cough an a vain attempt not to laugh. His eyes tripled in size, and as I looked over at him I knew what I had done. I looked across the table and asked him in Czech, "I said, 'train station' didn't I?" He nodded and pretended to cough again to hide his chortling.

At that moment I was mortified. Here we were, visiting ambassadors of the United States Army meeting with Generals and Colonels of the Czech Army hoping to successfully kick off an era of friendship and cooperation and I blew it right at the outset. I didn't even notice if anyone else caught my mistake.

Of course, it was really quite funny. For the rest of  our visit, any time there was a toast to be made, that officer and I would raise our glasses and quietly say "train station."

What's In My CERT Bag?

On Saturday I tweeted that I was repacking my CERT kit into an old XL Army rucksack. A couple of folks tweeted back to ask what I had in my bag. It's a little too long to tweet, so I'll make the list here.

The stuff in the bag is mostly stuff provided by the CERT group I belong to. They provided a nice back pack, but it was too small for my taste as I have a tendency to over-pack. I plan to add some stuff of my own as time goes on. 

For now, here's what I have in the bag:

• 2 Reflective Vests (1 green and 1 yellow)
  
• 1 Roll Yellow Caution Tape
• 1 Hard Hat
• 1 Roll Duct Tape (the handyman's secret weapon)
• 1 Pair Gloves
• 1 Pair Safety Goggles
• 1 Gas Main Shutoff Tool
• 1 Pry Bar
• 1 Pair Knee Pads
• 50 feet 1/4-inch Nylon Rope
• 1 Green Glow Stick
• 1 Particulate Mask
• 3 125ml Pouches of Survival Water
• 1 37X37X37 Bandage (good for slings)
• 3 "Ace" style bandages
• 84X52 inch metallic survival blanket
• 1 4 oz. Bottle Hydrogen Peroxide
• 1 "Blood Stop" Trauma Dressing
• 4 4X4's
• 1/4 oz. Pouch of SPF 30 Sun Block
• 1 Pr. "EMS" Scissors
• 1 Roll 1/2" Medical Tape
• 11.75 inch Trauma Dressing
• 1 Flashlight
• 1 Multi-tool
• 1 non Load-Bearing Carabiner
• 1 Backpack
• 1 CERT Operating Guide by J.L. Darling Corporation
  www.riteintherain.com
• 2004 DOT HAZMAT Emergency Response Guide
• 1 Whistle
• 1 Yellow Lumber Crayon

This is certainly not the end-all be-all list of what one could carry. It's just what I've gathered or have been given so far. I'm still considering what else I might need. Our CERT trailer is very well stocked with supplies which frees me to need much less in my personal bag.

With the larger rucksack I have room for extra clothes, food, water, etc. if I need to have them. I also have lots of nice attachments to hang things on, like my amateur radio HT. I think this bag will work better if I actually have to stay somewhere for a while; as in in a search and rescue scenario. If needed, I can also grab just a few things and put them in the other backpack if that is more appropriate.